If you have a veteran loved one in or entering the justice system, you’re likely experiencing a mix of emotions: fear, confusion, shame, hope, anger, grief – the list goes on.
This guide is for families navigating one of life’s most challenging situations. It acknowledges that supporting a veteran through the justice system is emotionally taxing and complicated.
But there are practical steps you can take to help, ways to protect your own wellbeing, and resources available to you. Whether your loved one is currently in the justice system or leaving it, this guide offers advice and hopefully, a message that you’re not alone in this.
Every situation is different. Some veterans move through the justice system and out the other side without the difficulties described here, and some family relationships come through it intact or stronger. This guide covers a wide range of circumstances so that you can take what is useful and leave the rest.
Looking After Yourself While Supporting a Veteran
Supporting someone through the justice system is often emotionally and practically draining. You might feel responsible for their circumstances, and you might worry constantly about their safety.
Know that supporting your veteran doesn’t mean sacrificing your own mental health or stability.
Some families can maintain close contact throughout this process; others need distance to protect themselves.
Some families have the capacity to help with practical matters like housing, employment, or legal processes; others don’t.
Some relationships can be rebuilt and strengthened through this journey; others are healthier at a distance. The key is honesty with yourself and, when appropriate, with your loved one.
First, be honest with yourself about what support you can genuinely provide.
- Can you maintain contact through phone calls, visits, or letters?
- Can you help with practical matters like housing or employment?
- Can you provide emotional support?
- Can you navigate legal processes?
You don’t have to do everything. What matters is that you’re clear about your capacity and communicate that clearly to your loved one if and when you’re able to do so.
Finally, recognise that families supporting someone in the justice system often need support too. Consider reaching out to counselling services, family support organisations, or trusted people in your life.
How You Can Help While They’re in the Justice System
When your loved one is in the justice system, the support you offer can take many forms, depending on what you’re able and willing to do.
Encourage Engagement With Support Services in the Justice System
Encourage your loved one to let relevant parties know they’ve served in the armed forces. Induction staff and VICSOs (Veterans in Custody Support Officers) need to be aware so your loved one can access appropriate support.
Services in the justice system designed for veterans can provide peer connection and specialist support tailored to their unique experiences. This visibility means your loved one can connect with mentorship and support that understands what they’ve been through.
Stay Connected (If You’re Able)
If you feel able to stay in contact with your veteran loved one, this connection to the outside world can be beneficial for their mental health and sense of identity.
This might mean phone calls (if your loved one has access), visits (if feasible and safe), or letters. Regular, consistent contact can make a real difference to someone who may be feeling isolated.
But if you don’t feel able to maintain contact, that’s also okay. Don’t force a connection that isn’t sustainable for you.
Practical and Logistical Support
If you’re able and willing to help with practical matters, this can support your loved one’s eventual reintegration. Logistics that might need attention include:
- Arranging and liaising with legal representation.
- Managing housing arrangements.
- Paying bills or managing finances.
These can make an enormous difference to someone’s sense of stability and future prospects.
If navigating the system feels overwhelming, that’s where organisations like Citizens Advice come in. They offer support specifically for families of individuals in the justice system and can help with legal and practical guidance.
How You Can Help When They’ve Left the Justice System
The journey isn’t finished when your loved one leaves the justice system. In many ways, it’s just beginning.
Having family support during this period can be transformative, but this is also a time when family relationships are being rebuilt or repaired, which requires patience, clear communication, and realistic expectations.
Practical Support
In the immediate period after release, your loved one may need help finding stable accommodation, accessing employment services, managing benefits, or rebuilding social networks.
Be clear about what you can help with and for how long, as this prevents confusion and disappointment later.
For example, if you can help with housing for three months but no longer than that, make sure you communicate this to your loved one. Clarity is kindness, as it allows you to set realistic expectations and builds trust between you and your loved one.
Rebuilding Trust and Connection
If the justice system involvement has damaged family relationships, rebuilding trust takes time and consistency.
It might mean having difficult conversations about what happened and what comes next. Family therapy or mediation services can help facilitate these conversations if relationships are fractured. Progress isn’t linear; there may be setbacks, and that’s normal.
Supporting Mental Health and Wellbeing
Your loved one may be adjusting to new routines, feeling uncertain about what comes next, or carrying difficult feelings about their time in custody, and any of that can sit alongside existing mental health difficulties.
Staying in touch and talking openly about how they are doing both help. If you are worried about them, the most useful thing you can do is help them reach someone qualified to support them, rather than trying to manage it on your own.
If you believe your loved one is in immediate danger, call 999. Samaritans can also be reached free at any hour of the day or night on 116 123 by anyone who is struggling and by anyone worried about someone else.
For anything less urgent, their GP can refer them to local mental health services, and in England, Op COURAGE provides NHS mental health support designed specifically for veterans.
Care after Combat’s helpline is open 24 hours a day on 0300 343 0255. You are welcome to call whether or not things have reached a crisis point, and you are welcome to call on their behalf if you are unsure what to do next.
Relevant Services That Can Help
The organisations below offer support to veterans and to the families around them.
For Your Loved One
Care after Combat specialises in supporting veterans in and after the justice system. We offer one-to-one mentorship from people who understand military service, peer support groups where veterans connect with others who have had similar experiences, and a helpline that is open 24 hours a day on 0300 343 0255. You are welcome to call whether or not things have reached a crisis point, and you can call on your loved one’s behalf if you are unsure what to do next. Learn more and contact us.
Combat Stress provides mental health and wellbeing support specifically for veterans. They offer therapy, support groups, and crisis support. Visit Combat Stress.
SSAFA provides practical and financial support to veterans and their families. They can help with accommodation, employment support, and financial crisis assistance. Learn more about SSAFA.
The Royal British Legion offers comprehensive support including financial assistance, employment support, and wellbeing services for veterans and their families. Visit The Royal British Legion.
Forces Employment Charity provides employment and training support to service leavers, veterans, reservists, and their spouses and partners. The Forces Employment Charity offers comprehensive support including career advice, job matching, training recommendations, CV writing help, interview technique coaching, and access to employment fairs and events. Call them on 0121 262 3058 or visit their website.
For You and Your Family
Combat Stress Support for Families provides specialist mental health support to families and loved ones of veterans. They offer a 24-hour helpline, family assessments, and various family support programmes. You can call 0800 138 1619 or email [email protected]. Learn more about their family support.
Prisoners’ Families Helpline provides free, confidential support and advice specifically for families in England and Wales who have a loved one in contact with the justice system. They offer practical guidance on everything from arrest and court proceedings to prison visits and release planning. The helpline is available Monday to Friday 9am–8pm and Saturday to Sunday 10am–3pm. Call 0808 808 2003 or visit their website.
POPS (Partners of Prisoners and Families Support Group) offers a range of services designed to help families navigate and cope with the emotional, practical, and social challenges that arise when someone you love is in the justice system. This includes prison-based family support, community support for those on probation, specialist women’s services, and child-friendly resources to help young people understand the justice system. They operate family support services across multiple prisons throughout the UK. Contact POPS on 0161 702 1000 or learn more about POPS and their services.
Citizens Advice provides guidance specifically for families of those in the justice system on legal, practical, and financial matters. They understand the system and can help you navigate it. Access support for families.
You’re Not Alone in This
The intersection of military service, mental health, the justice system, and family relationships is a challenging place to stand. We want you to know that there are many people and organisations out there who have made it their mission to support people going through these things, and would be happy to help.
Veterans can and do rebuild their lives after the justice system. Your loved one’s journey doesn’t end when they receive their sentence; it continues, and family can be part of that positive continuation.
If your loved one needs support, reach out to Care after Combat or one of the other charities listed above. If you need support for yourself, consider reaching out to a counsellor, your GP, or one of the family-focused services mentioned.
The path forward is winding, but you’re not walking it alone.